Estado Sentido

Da última vez que estive em Nova Iorque aproveitei para cumprir um dos meus “rituais” habituais que é o de perder uma ou duas tardes nos alfarrabistas da cidade que são os melhores do mundo.

Recomendo o NewYork City Strand, são centenas e centenas de metros de estantes até ao tecto, atafulhadas de todo o tipo de livros a preços ridículos.

Não sendo cá possível comprar livros pois os preços são caríssimos e as traduções por vezes fracas, não me controlei e comprei mais um caixotão de livros, que eles depois diligentemente encaminharam para cá.

Uma das várias coisas que encontrei e de que recomendo a leitura para melhorar a disposição numa época de tão cinzenta crise é Ben Lewis “Hammer & Tickle”, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, London, 2008. Ficam estas anedotas a título de exemplo:

Stalin is giving a speech to an assembly of workers in a big factory. “The thing that hold most precious in the Soviet Union is a human life,” he says.

Suddenly someone in the audience has a fit of coughing.

“Who is coughing?” bellows Stalin. Silence.

“Okay, call in the NKVD”, says the dictator.

Stalin´s political police, the NKVD, rush in with semi-automatic weapons blazing.

Soon only seven are left standing.

Stalin asks again: “Who coughed?”

One man raises his hand.

“That´s a terrible cold you´ve got!”, says Stalin.

“Take my car and go to hospital”.

Stalin is in his limo, alone with his driver.

“Let me ask you a question,” he says to the chauffeur.

“Tell me honestly, have you become more or less happy since the Revolution?”

“In truth, less happy”, says the driver.

“Why is that?” asks Stalin, his hackles raised.

“Well, before the Revolution I had two suits. Now I only have one.”

“You should be pleased,” says Stalin.

“Don´t you know that in Africa they run around completely naked?”

“Really?” the chauffeur replies.

“So how long ago did they have their revolution?”

Nazis Jokes

Trotsky and Lenin are traveling through a small town in Russia.

Children run out and greet them with a chant: “We know who you are! We know who you are!” “Look”, says Trotsky

“The Revolution has made us famous. Even children recognise us”

But before Lenin can respond, the children chorus:”You´re Jews, you´re Jews.”